DOWN HOME SAYINGS

(Run originally 4/24/04 on our old site)

Dan E. Randle

How about starting a string of old sayings? Over the years, I have used sayings to express how I feel about a person or subject. People not living in the south get a big bang out of them … mainly because they never heard them before.

Here are just a few:

Grinning like a opossum eating cockle burrs!

That's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick!

He/she/it is as worthless as teatts on a boar hog!

I have in the past looked certain seedy individuals in the eye and said, "You know, if it weren't for low, you wouldn't have any class at all"! Usually goes right over their heads .. but sometimes they even agree.

It's cold enough to freeze the brass balls off a bronze monkey!

It's hotter than the hinges of hell!

One brick short of a full load!

The light’s on, but nobody is home.

Slower than molasses in January.

He's so ugly they had to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dogs to play with him.

She's so ugly she has to slip up on a glass of water to get a drink.

They're so ugly the look like they have been beaten about the head and shoulders with an ugly stick.

Madder 'n a skin head watching the Jeffersons!

Renovating that house? That’ll make it nothing but an old man in a new suit of clothes.

Elois Bleidt Pelton

You might be an Arkie :

--if you have a couch sitting in the yard and folks think it is a nice lawn chair
--if your pickup is on shocks so high that you have to have a 5' ladder to climb up in the cab
--if your brown bag is a poke; and your WalMart sack is your suitcase
--if city folks think your grapes are for your salad but is really for your table wine that came from the cellar
--if you don't use your turning signals on your pickup because you rather use your arms to tell folks which way you’re turning
--if you use a pork & beans can to spit your tobacco in ‘cause mama yells at you for spitting on the porch
--if you have so much on your front porch that folks stop by daily asking you if you are still having a yard sale
--if your daddy walks you to school each day and you both are in the same grade
--if you continue to have the same teacher each year, but notice you have different classmates
--if you have a washing machine on the front porch and a barb wire fence for the clothes line
--if you have ever worn your best coveralls to a fancy wedding
--if you go to the family reunion to find a new mate

…but I'm still proud to be an Arkie